They All Say Things You Wanna Hear

When I called Rafi this evening he said he would call back in 10 minutes. Almost an hour later I heard from him. After a few minutes of conversation he said he would call back in a half hour. An hour and a half later I called him. He had been chatting with Debbie on messenger and forgot. Last night he fell asleep and didn't call back either. I just can't stand to compete with Debbie for Rafi's time and affection. When I called him I confronted him. I told him that I didn't know how it was going to work. He didn't have any time open for me and I had no place in his life. He replied that he was busy with things all day and that all he wanted to see when he got home at night was his bed. Ironically he was out at Debbie's late last night when she needed something though he was too tired to talk to me. Today he wasn't looking at his bed but chatting online with Debbie instead of calling me back like he said he would. Even in the beginning when the thrill and the novelty are still there I cannot capture his attention. He decided that he didn't want to discuss this, so he told me to end the conversation. He will talk to me tomorrow. I think I might be done with Rafi. Funny how something that looked so promising would decline so quickly. I feel a little insane dealing with this in a semi-unreasonable fashion, but I don't really think that the good feeling I have with Rafi is going to negate all of the pressure of having to push him into spending time with me, and knowing that I don't even rank on his priorities. It may be better for me to just cut my losses now instead of getting entwined with him further when the inevitable comes. For all the things he says when I am with him. How much he wants to be with me. How special I am. I don't feel that way now. Rafi is all talk.