Tick Tock

Number one pet peeve: Not following through. Rafi likes to act like we will spend all sorts of time together, but in all actuality that is not really the case. I saw him Friday night, and then for a few hours on Monday morning. Last night he fell asleep instead of calling me back, and tonight is likely to end the same way. I thought I would see him tonight for a while, but I hardly think that will happen. If this is something I was prepared for I think I wouldn't be so reactive, but I didn't expect this at all. Allen came home today from his trip to Europe. I told him flat out that there was no romantic future for us (and that stands regardless of Rafi). Then this afternoon I was chatting online with Sam who informed me that he was "the one" for me. I must be too clueless to notice this considering that Sam is, by far, more inconsistent than Rafi ever could be. Not to mention that he is much farther from me geographically as well as in life. While Rafi is near, he is still far. His best friend is this 40 year old woman, Debbie, who is his boss's assistant. They spend a lot of time together, and I worry that Debbie will ultimately be the reason that I cannot get close to Rafi. While one of my best friends in this world is, in fact, a male I can say securely that he is not at all competitive with my boyfriends, and visa versa. Rafi sees Debbie almost every day, and spends long hours with her. If she wasn't so much older and as unattractive as she is I would think that the romantic intentions were mutual. While I know Rafi thinks of her in non-sexual terms, I wonder how important I can become to someone who already is so close to another. It bothers me that I will have to wait at the back of the line for my chance. It seems I will just have to wait and see if something changes before I become too frustrated with this issue.