A Drop in the Bucket

Since my last post I have had a full term relationship in the course of a week. A guy who had been someone I dated (once) during my first stint in the world of online dating came up again when I recently signed back up. I met up with him again with a girlfriend of mine to have champagne on his balcony. All went well. A few days later I had lunch with him, and dinner two days after that. We were getting into the habit of talking to each other for hours at a time on the phone, and every date was rather enjoyable. Last night, after dinner, we finally returned to his place and took it to the bedroom. Since he is a self-described "late bloomer" I was a bit worried that he would be lacking in the bedroom skills department, but my assumptions were unfounded. Three rounds later we went to sleep. Tonight, however, he threw me for a loop. Just when I was getting to like him, and congratulating myself for finding a guy who was really great, he opted out. We had scheduled a date for tomorrow night, but when I called him this evening he said that he was absolutely not ready for something serious. Over the course of this last week he had made mention of several trips we would take together. In his head he had planned out our entire future. In some way he had ended us before we began. He told me that he was very intrigued with me, but he couldn't be what I was looking for. He didn't want us to continue to waste each others' time. To some degree I am relieved he would tell me this early on. On the other hand I think he acted too quickly. So far we were getting along very well, and it was just the beginning. There is no way to tell the future, so predicting that it will be disastrous when nothing indicates that in the present is completely ridiculous. I guess I am still stunned. I never saw this coming. Things had been going well, and I feel like I am unable to maintain my hope that I will find someone who makes me feel secure when all the men I have been dating lately have a way of pulling the plug.