Someone Else's Book

It's been 3 days. Rafi text messaged me last night asking for me to come over. I told him that I was through with having sex with guys that are not my boyfriend. He said I should do whatever I feel. What I felt like was changing his name on my phone from "spinning wheels" to "under 10" which I think is more appropriate considering the circumstances of our break up. A small part of me did like the fact that he had to contact me in a few days of our fight. I won in some small way. I had pushed through my urge to contact him, and he had not won against his. Last night, though, I did go back on the dating website. I really am going to be borrowing a page out of Patty Stanger's (from the show Millionaire Matchmaker) book on dating: I am not having sex until I am in a committed monogamous relationship. If I really need to have sex I will utilize my long term "friend with benefits" or my battery powered friends. Something has to change. I am not in a mood to just date right now. I really want a relationship, and I have to acknowledge that. The guys that I meet at this point who are just interested in sex will get frustrated with me. I won't have to find out later that all I had was another notch on the bedpost. I think I have acquired enough of those already. According to Rafi, about 15 too many.