Through the Desert

It has been an unusually long while since I last posted. I do apologize. Lately it seems that lots of things have been happening, and each situation gave me enough time to appropriately handle it. I did not wind up with a boyfriend in June. The guy eventually turned out to be just like the rest, and found a way to completely forget to put in effort with me. There was also an incident involving the ex-boyfriend of my ex-best friend who tried to date me. The strange thing was that he would text message with me throughout the entire day for weeks on end, but it turned out that he actually had a serious girlfriend who he had been with for about a year! The whole thing was really strange, and it was quite funny to me once it was over. As of right now things are kind of up in the air. My ex-boyfriend from college, who I was with for over 2 years, is back in the picture. He is getting divorced from the woman he married shortly after we broke up. He also has a child. Things are very complex for him right now, and he is in the Army, so he is in Iraq at this time as well. He and I have had very long conversations about what is happening with him, and how he can cope with all of the mess ahead of him. While there is a ridiculous amount of chemistry between us it will be at least a year before he and I can even think about having a relationship. Right now I am mostly a supportive friend, and someone who he can connect with in ways that he cannot with others. We always were very close. We were so close that his wife wouldn't allow us to talk at all during the time they were together. I hadn't spoken to him in over 5 years when he emailed me to apologize for his behavior. Part of me hopes that we can be together, but I know it is not something I can legitimately wait for at this point. He was the one that I thought I would marry, and that didn't happen. Part of me does feel a certain relief, though, when he admitted to me that everything missing from his marriage was something that he found in me. He feels that he was not with an equal partner, and he essentially married the wrong girl. I have to say that gave me a certain amount of closure on things that were unresolved for me from that relationship. Another guy who is floating around in my life is a friend I have known since I was a freshman in high school. He and I had crushes on each other, but never acted on them. About 2 years ago we started being "friends with benefits" and that was pretty much it. Lately, the situation has become a bit more intense, but he is working in upstate New York. Aside from the geographical hardship I also feel that he has yet to really become the man that he will be. Mostly it is just a great connection that will probably never materialize into a committed relationship. Since, of course, everything happens in 3s there is one more guy in the picture. Recently I went to concert that some friends of mine were playing in, and I ran into the older brother of my friend from grade school. I remember him being so old to me since I was in 7th grade, and he was in high school. Now that I realize he is 29 and I am 27, we are practically the same age. His name is Adam. Adam is back in Chicago after having finalized his divorce over this past summer. He has a 2 year old daughter who he visits every month on the east coast. I didn't ever expect to see him again, and it was quite strange to be on a date with someone who I had a crush on as a tween. I do really like him, but I also know that he is most likely on the rebound right now. I cannot expect too much from him. Considering that my job will move me to LA in another 5 months I definitely should not be getting my hopes up. Part of me wants to see what happens, and the other part of me would like to strap on my parachute with my finger on the eject button. Since our date I have texted him a few times over the last 2 days following our date. He has yet to make future plans with me, but does respond to the texts. I will stop initiating contact with him since he has yet to initiate anything with me. I want to see what he does when I give him some space. Hopefully he will pick up the ball and run with it when I put it in his court.