In and Out

Of the 3 guys I had previously posted about, I wound up being in a long term relationship with the 3rd, who is in the army for the next few years. He and I were exclusive for almost a year while I picked up my life and moved out to the west coast. Since my boyfriend was stationed in upstate New York I rarely saw him. We did talk constantly, and emotionally I was very much engaged with him. Once I had enough time to really spend face to face with him, however, it became very clear to me that we are not at all compatible in a day to day situation. Unfortunately for us we had already begun to talk about marriage, and when I ended things this past weekend, I am sure it came as quite a shock to my boyfriend. The problem with my (now) ex is, while he is really an intelligent guy, he has not achieved a high level of social etiquette. When he was in high school he was addicted to drugs, and he stayed that way until his mid 20s. Even though he has been clean for a few years, and sober for one, no one really taught him to eat properly, pick up after himself, and be conscious of others. Living with someone like that means constantly nagging a man who should know better, and living in a constant state of chaos. My plans for the future do not include that type of chaotic existence. Ironically as soon as I was starting to realize my boyfriend's faults another blast from the past came at me. Yet another ex boyfriend from when I was younger resurfaced, and was interested in reconnecting with me romantically. It is seriously strange to me that I experience this so often. This particular guy happened to date me for about 6 months starting the summer prior to my freshman year of college. He was in the navy, and when he was sent out to Florida to serve we weren't able to keep the relationship going. After a while he got married, had a little girl, and was injured which got him released from duty. Every few years, like clockwork, he would track me down via some sort of electronic pathway, to see how I was doing. I was never able to figure out why he insisted on contacting me when he clearly had another life in full effect. Now that he is divorced, with full custody of his 4 year old daughter, and about to finish his bachelor's degree, he finally owned up to needing to know where I am because he still has feelings for me. Considering that the internet has come a long way since 2000, it is far easier for us to have contact. He admitted that he regrets letting me go, and that his intentions are to marry me. After so many years of having men come in and out of my life like a revolving door it's hard for me to understand why I am flooded with men from my past who have declared the longest-term intentions possible. Is this a good thing? Did I do something to bring this about? Do others have this type of situation arise constantly? I really don't know, but I have to find out what works best for me. I certainly know at this point that I don't want a man with baggage, or without manners. I'm just going to have to buckle my seat belt, and hope for the best ending to this adventure.